New Rule: If you are a slightly weasely looking man in his 40s, with a wrinkly, shrivelled face, and you are writing a film, do not cast yourself as the romantic lead. Especially not if you co-star is 18. Double especially do not write a scene where you take the aforementioned 18 year old’s virginity. It is just creepy. Also, if your film features Jermaine and Murray from Flight of the Conchords but they have a combined screen time of less than 3 minutes, it is slightly disingenuous to feature them in the poster of the film. Finally, your film is rubbish. This advice may not be terribly universal, but hopefully it will be taken up.