Wednesday, September 29, 2004

The London Underground

(Mass Transit System)



GUEST LONDON BASED OFFICE GUY #3 MIKE says:

You've all heard of the London Underground, and some of you may even have been to parties where costumes must be worn named after its stations (e.g.wear a grey mac and scratch your crotch a lot for 'Holburn'). But what is this modern marvel of subterranean transport really like? The London Underground (or 'Tube') was first invented in 1842 as a way of discreetly sending loud/smelly/insane people away from the centre. As numbers of these people grew, they decided to let normal people on too. Although not many, as you can still witness today.

Friends of mine report having seen the following characters on the Underground: Prince, disguisedas a small Jewish man, moving around all the sleeping people on the carriage and making 'Gollum noises' in their ears; a particularly bad magician rehearsing his card tricks, many of which resulted in the spraying of cards all round the carriage; and a dead man. Although this last one may just havebeen the driver.

This leads me to those all important people who are required to aim thatjoystick in a straight line and press "Go!" (tricky after a night out) - the tube train 'drivers'. Unless you travel on the Jubilee line of course, which has no drivers. These space-age trains allow the punter to sit right at the front of the carriage and pretend to be the driver (I'd recommend a'Fischer-Price Kiddie-Go stick on steering wheel', and a bum bag with '£5 per person' written on it to confuse the tourists). The amount of trust put in these driverless trains really is quite odd, taking into account how often a Scalextric car flies off the track in one lap (and yes, I do imagine someone in a control tower squeezing one of those 'gun' things to make the train go round). That said, they are fun and they look cool!

Once you emerge from the Underground and decide to go for a wander, you quickly discover that all the places you've been to previously on the tube,are actually within 5 minutes walk of each other. This is because London is actually 4 miles square (the Underground lines were designed by Erno Rubik, as you can see through the choice of colours used for the different lines). Having made this discovery, you will quickly go off using the tube.

The day they invent a tube that is smaller (less room for weirdos), that can go to any part of London, is positioned on top of land (less stuffy and dark), and has a bell you can push when you want to stop, is the day I'll start using the Underground again. Until that day, I think I'll just walk.

4.3/10

21 comments:

  1. Nice Blog!!!   I thought I'd tell you about a site that will let give you places where
    you can make extra cash! I made over $800 last month. Not bad for not doing much. Just put in your
    zip code and up will pop up a list of places that are available. I live in a small area and found quite
    a few. MAKE MONEY NOW

    ReplyDelete
  2. Horse racing tips for professional lay bettingbetting free horse racing tip

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11:54 pm

    I've stumbled across your blog when I done some internet
    marketing research in Google. You're doing a pretty nice job
    here, keep up the good work :-)

    Sincerely,

    Tosh
    Webmaster/Publisher
    macintosh computer

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous4:33 am

    This is the kind of site I've been looking for. Definitely bookmarkable! If you get a chance, can you check out ameriquest mortgage . I'm fairly new to building websites, and would value any opinions
    on my ameriquest mortgage site.

    ReplyDelete
  5. So many blogs and only 10 numbers to rate them. I'll have to give you a 9 because you have a quailty topic.

    Free Access To More Information Abouthealth board

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous2:08 pm

    Help me Dude, I'm lost.

    I was searching for Elvis and somehow ended up in your blog, but you know I'm sure I saw Elvis in the supermarket yesterday.

    No honest really, he was right there in front of me, next to the steaks singing "Love me Tender".

    He said to me (his lip was only slightly curled) "Boy, you need to get yourself a shiny, new plasmatv to go with that blue suede sofa of yours.

    But Elvis said I, In the Ghetto nobody has a plasma tv .

    Dude I'm All Shook Up said Elvis. I think I'll have me another cheeseburger then I'm gonna go home and ask Michael Jackson to come round and watch that waaaay cool surfing scene in Apocalypse Now on my new plasma tv .

    And then he just walked out of the supermarket singing. . .

    "You give me love and consolation,
    You give me strength to carry on "

    Strange day or what? :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I was reading your blog and thought i would mention this free blog hosting site.

    Free blog hosting using wordpress. The top blogging tols online and many free templates to choose from. Free hosting. Get your blog free myspace skin now!

    GET FREE BLOG NOW

    ReplyDelete
  8. Anonymous4:44 pm

    Hi,

    I've got an online blackjack site covering playing strategies with some original articles related to black jack chart that the visitors to your blog may find interesting - here's an article extract:

    The Eight Blackjack Myths that Lose You Money
    If you believe any of the following blackjack myths, you will lose money. Don't make that error! ...

    black jack chart


    Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  9. Nice blog! I have a free lead marketing network phone site I thought you and your visitors might like.

    Click on free lead marketing network phone to check it out. free lead marketing network phone

    ReplyDelete
  10. Informative post. Take a look at my credit site ( http://mortgage.27days27gurus.com/ ) f you can. Thanks credit repair

    ReplyDelete
  11. Hey, You've got a very nice Blog!

    Very informative. Be sure to check out my blog on the Make Partition History Campaign.

    See you soon :o)

    ReplyDelete
  12. Anonymous10:54 am

    Great Blog! I also have a site about white chocolate cake
    . You can check it out at white chocolate cake


    Also, as a thank you for visiting my site, I'd like to tell you about a great site that is giving away a FREE DVD Camcorder! Just click the following link and enter your Zipcode to see if the promotion is available in your area!

    FREE DVD Camcorder

    ReplyDelete
  13. Anonymous12:22 pm

    Hi i am totally blown away with the blogs people have created its so much fun to read alot of good info and you have also one of the best blogs !! Have some time check my link of identity theft cases.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Anonymous12:34 pm

    I am about to show you a way that you can generate thousands of keyword targeted links back to your web site starting today!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anonymous1:45 pm

    Nice post. royal bank

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am totally nude come see me. Take a bit for all pics and movies to load.

    Why do I do this I like to make men blow their jiz in their pants.

    Visit me.激情

    ReplyDelete
  17. Anonymous2:09 pm

    If you are in business and are interested in business gift uk and FREE advertising and marketing. Try this site, it costs nothing, but a little time

    ReplyDelete
  18. Anonymous5:05 am

    Among these magnificent benefits is the chance to be able to promote your business, any business,

    ReplyDelete
  19. Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

    I have a **Free mortgage advice** site/blog. It pretty much covers ##Home Mortgage advice## related stuff.

    Come and check it out if you get time :-)

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anonymous3:24 pm

    Hi, I was out blogging and found your site. It certainly got my attention and interest. I was looking for Aircraft
    information and even though this isn't a perfect match I enjoyed your site. Thanks for the read!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Anonymous7:11 pm

    Good afternoon many have machines which not insuranced,
    you have a unique opportunity only today to receive insurance the machine free of charge
    auto insurance
    auto insurance
    cars insurance
    cars insurance
    texas car insurance
    texas car insurance
    car insurance quotes
    car insurance quotes
    car insurance policy
    car insurance policy
    xanax
    phentermine
    buy tramadol

    ReplyDelete

Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.