Civilisation

(God Sim)



JAMES says:

This PC game is now in it’s third incarnation, but the basics are the same. You start of with a little village then it grows til you have a big empire and can go and beat up the Iroquois. It is one of those games that if you have a certain type of personality can take over your life, even though a lot of what you’re doing is actually a bit repetitive, building mines and churches etc. until you start to feel autistic. And I rather stupidly installed it on my computer right before starting to study for my next set of exams.

There are two ways of playing civilisation (or civ as me and my cool computer game friends like to call it). Either you can play it on easy so you’re the baddest guy around and there’s no challenge, or you can play it on hard and spend your whole time getting your ass kicked by the Americans, which is not my idea of fun. After devoting approximately a year of your life to it, you can actually complete it on hard mode, but you’re just another year closer to death and unfortunately it’s hard to transfer your new skills of building vast armies and crushing your enemies beneath your jackbooted heel to the real world. Unless you work in HR. That joke makes no sense.

I do hate feeling this way, as once I no longer get a kick out of dedicating my life to becoming the supreme ruler of a fictional computer world I have few joys left to me, but it just all seems a bit pointless. It is still the best computer game ever, though.

8/10

The Getaway

(Video Game)



JAMES says:

This excessively violent game involves driving round a realistically rendered London, killing people. Not really much in the way of variety to be honest, but it does have some excellent moments. The first time you drive down Oxford Street and see all the shops in the right places, you feel so happy you stop watching the road and run someone over. You also get a great buzz when you smash through a police line then skilfully drive between triad and yardie cars, making them crash. And you’ve got to love a game that you can pause and look in your A to Z when you get stuck. However, this realism can be a bit disturbing.

The other day, for instance, I spent the morning playing the game, going around Charing Cross stealing buses and causing mayhem, then I went there in the real world in the afternoon, and it made me feel quite uneasy, let me tell you. There are also quite a few problems that would affect anyone, Londoner or no. As I say, it lacks variety, and when it does try to mix things up a little, the results are pretty bad. For instance, there’s a section where you have to sneak through some laser security beams. Unfortunately, your character has obviously been shot in the head at some point, as he is incapable of turning round without also running in that direction. It is also impossible to just pick this up for a quick go. Every level has an opening scene that can last up to 10 minutes, which you can never skip. You also get to the point where you’ve sat through the opening sequence, and the first section of the level, and are getting incredibly bored/pissed off with the bit you’re playing, or need to get to bed/watch TV/pay some attention to your significant other/eat. However, you know that if you stop you’ve got about half an hours solid game play to get back to the point you’re at, so you have to plough on, no matter how unenjoyable you’re finding it. Or give up, I suppose.

Finally, the system dispenses with traditional items such as a map or health register in an attempt to be more realistic. Unfortunately, there’s a reason why most games have these things. Aimlessly driving around London with only a left and right indicator to tell you the way can be incredibly infuriating, and by the time you’ve reached Trafalgar Square for the 5th time you’re ready to kick the TV in. And to avoid having health, you get progressively bloodier the more you get shot, which is quite cool, and you can reverse this by having a little rest, which is just really boring.

To sum up, good fun occasionally, but frequently very tedious.

6.2/10

Enter the Matrix

(Video Game)



JAMES says:

A slight case of style over substance, methinks. To any hot-blooded young man the chance to play as a rebel in the matrix, doing funky kung fu and dodging bullets, is simply irresistible, and this game recreates it well. You can’t play as Neo or Morpheus, except in two player mode, but you do get to fight Trinity, who is surprisingly easy to beat. You choose from either Morpheus’ ex, Niobe, or her Zen sidekick Ghost. Guess who I played as? Rather than recreating the film, it provides a separate and complimentary storyline with additional scenes filmed. All very well and good, but divorced from the story line, and without Keanu, the whole thing just ends up looking a bit naff and Babylon 5. Also, some bits are shoe horned in a bit, like having to save the key master, then him just getting captured again so he can be rescued by the proper crew. Still, it gives the game an automatic headstart over most out there.

And it really does need it, because after the initial ‘I am so cool, look at the way I just kicked that guy in the head! Bow down to my power!’ you start to realise how little you’re actually controlling the wee man on the screen. It really is a case of press this button and you’ll do a fantastically impressive move. Likewise, some moments are only fun because they’re Matrix-y. Running away from a legion of Agent Smiths is about the coolest thing ever, until you realise it’s just a case of going through it memorising which doors work and which don’t. Some sections are easy enough to get through first time without even trying and other parts are difficult merely because it’s not clear what you’re supposed to do. In one section I kept on dying merely because I was using the wrong control method. Plus, despite my cynical generation Y detachment, I did feel slightly uncomfortable playing an entire level where all you have to do is kill policemen.

Despite all this, it’s a good meaty game. It does have quite a few fun bits, you get a variety of gameplay, and there’s a lot in there. And, kicking people in slow motion is always good fun.

7/10

Comparitive Review: Violet Berlin vs. Isaiah Berlin

JAMES says:

Violet Berlin
(Media gaming pundit / presenter)



To boys of a certain age, I think we’ll always be scarred by Violet Berlin. It was such a dilemma, we love computer games, we hate Violet Berlin (we’re indifferent to Andy Crane the broom cupboard traitor), do we watch Gamesmaster rip-off program Bad Influence? With her lisp and bizarre hair style, she was a definite stunting factor in our burgeoning sexuality. For me, she represented everything that was bad about adults attempting to make TV for teenagers. She was quite clearly not cool, but it was thought that as she was a girl who played video games she would be alright. Well, as Bits was later to conclusively prove, that is not enough. Plus, she failed entirely to deal with the problems caused by living in a post-liberal society. I suppose I could just not have watched it, but video games on TV were scarce in those days, and we had to take what we could get. When Bad Influence inevitably finished after one series, I thought I was free of the Violet terror. It was with a sense of excitment, when, years later checking out my newly installed hundreds of channels of cable TV, I came across the Bravo computer game show. But then, that thin lisping voice starts commentating over shots of computer generated men shooting each other. It couldn’t be, they wouldn’t dare. Then there she was. The hair had changed, but it was unmistakably her. The Bastards, they’ve done it, they’ve actually done it. She’s Back…

1.7/10


Isaiah Berlin
(Man of letters)



Eschewing the computer games route, Isaiah instead decided to go for the world of academia and political philosophy. This savvy move, there were no computer games at the time, typifies Berlin’s pragmatic but thought out approach to his work and life. Berlin was unsure about any systems that explained everything, and those that believed in them. He famously quoted the Greek poet Archilochus, that ‘the Fox knows many things, but the Hedgehog knows one big thing,’ although I’m not sure if he ever tells us what this big thing is. Probably Marxism. Berlin’s philosophy is convincing because, unlike his predecessors, he doesn’t claim to have any grand final answer. He sees society as a series of conflicts, which each need to be negotiated. While some might find this unsatisfying, I think it’s very close to the truth. There are no perfect societies, only societies that are able to overcome obstacles well, and those that can’t. This view might explain why Berlin never wrote any grand work, only essays, which as I student I was obviously grateful for. He is a persuasive writer, and has a sense of innate dignity lacking from his violet namesake. Plus, he wrote ‘White Christmas’, so respect.

6.4/10