Showing posts with label the internet. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the internet. Show all posts

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Facebook

(Social Networking Site)



JAMES says:

Facebook is very similar to Reality, the original social networking site. You end up friends with lots of people you don’t actually like, and seem to spend all your time dealing with them as opposed to those people you genuinely have affection for. Also, you only get out what you put in, yet if you’re anything like me you put in the absolutely bare minimum and then spend your time annoyed that everyone has more friends than you. Finally, like life it is fun to begin with but soon becomes a bit of a chore. And it’s ultimately pointless and a waste of time. Have I run this metaphor into the ground enough yet? It’s also full of trivia and boasting but empty of anything approaching significance. That ought to do it.

4.7/10

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Blogs

(Online Diaries)



JAMES says:

Curious by the ‘next blog’ button at the top of this very page, and slightly bored one afternoon, I decided to take a random trip through the many people who, like us, have decided to make www.blogspot.com/ the home for their random witterings. It is an enlightening experience, almost like a voyage into the collective unconciousness, and you can’t help but learn a few things about the human condition.

Firstly, the standard of written English has deteriorated considerably in the first few years. Secondly, if given a public forum, the vast majority of people will use it to talk exclusively about themselves. Maybe unsurprisingly given the nature of the medium.

Unfortunately there seem to be more people writing than people reading. The whole thing is one-way, it is a collection of ‘0 comments’. But it doesn’t really matter. That these things are written, have a reality, however ephemeral, means they have an existence even without anyone observing them.

At first there is very little of interest. People talking about their own lives are never that interesting, whether in the office or on the internet. However, the cumulative effect is fascinating, and it was quite hard to stop my travel in blogland. You are drawn in by all the raw emotion, the anger and joy, then pain and suffering. It is hard to look at all this and not feel a compassion for humanity, for all its sham and drudgery. Much like the character in Nathanael West’s ‘Miss Lonelyhearts’

So, what can we tell about humanity if we extrapolate these findings? Basically, people are self-obsessed, tragic but basically loveable tykes. But be thankful that you have found the exception to the rule, a blog with interest, humour and punctuation. And the occasional rant.

4.3/10

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Spam E-mail

(Irritating phenomena of modern life)

NEILL says:

Relentlessly sunny optimist that I am, I try to look on the bright side of having my inbox constantly clogged up with endless unsolicited junk e-mails about penis enlargement, dodgy pharmaceuticals and 'shaved teens'. ‘What bright side?’, you may well ask. Well, I sometimes find there is a certain dark poetry to be appreciated in the largely unexamined field of the Spam Subject Line. Here are my all-time top 5 personal favourites, in descending order of grotesque hilarity:

5) Get more Ass than a Toilet Seat
4) Tear Her Shrimp Bed Apart
3) Chess board genitals
2) Is the Mail on Sunday more Planet Dumbass's market?
Ha ha ha! No. Thanks for asking, though. The absolute winner is fantastically, staggeringly minging:
1) Just because they're OLD... doesn't mean they don't need DICK!!!

Okay, so it's not much of a bright side.

2/10


JAMES says:


The amateur housewives were not free, and my penis stayed the same size. I'm starting to wonder if the whole thing might be some kind of scam.

0.4/10

Friday, June 27, 2003

www.richardherring.com

(Website)



JAMES says:

The webpage of one half of TV’s Lee and Herring, and writer of ‘Time Gentlemen, Please’, this site, like the man himself, is very funny. Consistently guilty of making me betray my lack of work by chortling away to myself, Herring’s self depreciation and taking things far beyond their logical extremes is just funny. The best part of the site, for my money, is the web diary ‘Warming Up’, a day to day account of observations and events from a guy who used to be on the telly. While I’m not terribly interested in Herring’s life, he is just funny. As I said before. Weren’t you listening? Also included is a host of DVD-style extras, only more like other bits of a homepage, if I’m being totally honest, including scripts to most of Herring’s plays and the rules to Consecutive Number Plate Spotting (you don’t want to know). Sites like these really are the saviours of those of us with no work to do and access to the internet. Recommended to anyone who thinks ‘Die, die, you Whorish Eggs’ is one of the funniest punch-lines ever.

9/10