Abysmal Sub-Hello magazine. Someone left a copy lying around the office, and I was bored enough to read it. I was sickened, sickened! Articles telling you were Kat from Eastenders does her shopping and lives. Photos in which celebrities look less attractive than they usually do. Is Becks losing his hair? And the Icing on the turd, a questionnaire called ‘They’re Just Like You or Me’ in which Johnny Vegas shows that he’s just like you and me. What do these people want? Apart from to stalk Kat from Eastenders obviously. Either you think these people are modern day Olympians and must be told how to worship them, or you regard them as a blight on humanity and you can laugh at their misfortune. You can’t have it both ways. It’s natural to admire someone who does something well, even if it is just looking pretty on TV, but do you really need to know if they’ve had a Brazilian? (Tamzin Oithwaite apparently hasn’t) Here’s an idea, instead of spending all your time wondering about Christina Aguilera’s raunchy new outfit, why don’t you take an interest in friends, family, co-workers? See if there’s any way you could aid them in their lives? They may not be as interesting, but at least it’s actual human contact. Plus, whereas you might only see a celebrity every few months, you see these people everyday! You could make your own magazine about them, filled with where they’ve been spotted and how they really are just like you and me! Best not ask about the Brazilian thing though. Not yet anyway.