The best newspaper in the world. The Sydney Morning Herald is quite good on a Saturday, but has too much stuff about Australia for my liking. The Saturday Guardian has it all, magazines for the ladies, a little guide so you can know what’s on TV wherever you are, a big intellectual book review bit, jobs and nicely left wing news. However, I never actually buy it anymore, and I’ll tell you why. It’s too blummin’ big! Now, I’m not a guy who can just dip into things. There’s only one James way of doing things, and that’s beginning to end. So working my way through the paper, even ignoring crappy bits like sport and travel, just takes too long. I’m still reading the book reviews come Friday, and I have no time to read books or watch TV hardly at all. It takes a couple of hours just to work my way through the news bit. So I’ve had to cut it out, right out. It’s still good though.
I hate to say it, but he's right. I’m sorry, Saturday Guardian, but… well, it’s over. It’s not you… you’re wonderful… clever, funny, atttactive… it’s just, you take a week to read and I just don’t think I can deal with that kind of commitment. What's that? No, there's no one else. Your friends said what? They've seen me around town reading the tabloid-sized Independent? That's crazy. No, it's not because it's more compact than you, don't be stupid. I like my newspapers big, you know that. It's me, I'm just… I’m not in a newspaper-reading place right now. What? Is it because Julie Burchill left?
My God, how can you even ask me that?