Ah, Minced Beef! Is there any finer ingredient? Just think of the dishes it makes possible – Spaghetti Bolognaise, Tacos, Meatballs, Lasagne, Enchiladas, Burgers, Picadillo, American Hot Pizzas, everything I eat, basically. It is unlikely I would’ve made it through my student years without it. It’s so much better than unground-down cow, which is more expensive and usually chewy. Plus, with mince, you can make it any shape you want, instead of having to go along with the boring cow parts that nature gives us. Any combination of mince, cheese and tomato and you’re basically onto a winner. It’s not the healthiest or most environmentally friendly food stuff, but it’s so good who cares? Mmmm… Just the thought of lovely frying mince smells is making my mouth water. God puts lots of trials and tragedy into this brief and meagre existence we call life, but he balanced them with mince. So give the guy a break, eh? If there’s any downside to mince, it’s that you can’t really have it for pudding, but I think that’s a barrier that’s bound to fall soon.